I have some good friends who are pregnant for the first time and due this next month. I offered to throw them a baby shower. They were a little wary at first. Given that they are not the kind of people who like to be in the spotlight, I was not surprised. "I do not want our friends to think we are opportunists, just because we give them all baby shower invitations," they said. Given that I myself am an outspoken opponent of any shower that makes people feel obligated to buy something, I saw their point and wanted to come up with something different. I also know that baby showers represent something altogether more fulfilling emotionally than the average greedy bridal shower. A good number of newlyweds are older than their counterparts of 20 years prior. They have jobs and are usually combining the belongings of two households when they get hitched. In the old days, young couples did not have much for their households and bridal showers helped fill that void. Guests receiving bridal shower invitations should be asked to help celebrate, not reach into their pocketbooks. People love to buy presents and they will anyway, just do not make them feel like they are expected to.
My friends who were against the idea of a baby shower were afraid of those same bridal shower expectations. I assured them that guests receiving baby shower invitations would be the same people who were overcome with a desire to help as soon as they heard the news of the pregnancy. Expectant first time parents do not have diapers, cribs and baby clothes hanging around the house, regardless of how much money they make. Being pregnant with your first baby, can make you run and hide with confusion over how to prepare. By getting your friends and family together for a baby shower, you allow them to offer advice and give you items that will make your life so much easier. The only thing that kept our first baby sleeping happily at night was a sleep sack, yet we would have never even tried such a thing if someone had not given it to us as a shower gift. Shower invitations will also be received by people who have no idea what having a baby is like. Those guests have been looking for a good reason to go into that baby boutique and buy you the softest baby blanket known to man.
I came up with an idea that was well received by my friends. I sent out shower invitations for a "Wisdom and Wives Tales" party. Attendees were to bring a baby proofing item and a supply (diapers, wipes, baby thermometer). Additionally, ahead of time, I sent an e mail to all those who received shower invitations requesting that they send me their favorite bit of helpful parenting advice and the silliest piece of advice they ever received. I took all the tidbits, had them professionally printed and bound, and gave them to the expectant couple. The books were a big hit and my friends adored that everyone shared such helpful information and entertaining tales. And they were very grateful for all the practical items and supplies that will make their life easier when the baby comes home. The baby shower invitations did not set forth any expectation of gifts beyond the scope of the theme. I think all the guests, however, happily brought additional baby gifts. But everyone seemed to enjoy offering support, advice and humor to the expectant couple. And that is the whole reason my friends wanted to get everyone together to help them celebrate such an exciting time in their lives.